Choosing an assisted living facility: your step-by-step guide

Choosing the right assisted living community can feel overwhelming. After all, it’s about more than finding a comfortable place to live. It’s also about finding a sense of community and an environment that can meet your loved one’s needs today and tomorrow. 

There are many factors to consider, from the level of care needed to the location, cost, and amenities offered. With the right information and a step-by-step approach, you can make the search more manageable and feel more confident about your decision.

What do assisted living communities offer? 

First, it’s important to understand what assisted living can and can’t offer. Assisted living is designed for older adults who need certain levels of personal and medical care. It provides a balance between independent living and access to health care services. Residents can live in their own apartments while having the comfort and security of knowing that help is available when they need it. 

Supportive services often include help with bathing, dressing, meals, and medication management. These tasks are known as activities of daily living (ADLs). Assisted living communities also offer social activities and opportunities to connect with other residents. For many older adults, that sense of community can be an important part of daily life. Research suggests that moving to assisted living may lead to improved outcomes for both mental and physical health.¹

If you or your loved one requires advanced medical care or is living with late-stage dementia, a traditional assisted living community may not be the right option. If you’re new to aging care, you may need help understanding the different types of available support. A guide to aging care options can help you understand the differences among independent living, assisted living, memory care, and other types of care.

Step 1: Choose the right community type for today and tomorrow 

Before you look at specific assisted living communities, take time to consider both current and future care needs. Choosing a community that offers multiple levels of care may provide meaningful advantages as those needs change. As people age, their health needs often become more complex. A community offering a range of options, from assisted living to skilled nursing care, may allow a resident to receive additional support without relocating. These communities are often called Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs) or Life Plan Communities. This continuity of care can reduce the stress of another move while providing a consistent setting, familiar routines, and familiar faces. 

If your loved one has specific care needs, such as specialized support for dementia, a community focused exclusively on memory care may be the right choice. Memory care communities are designed to provide secure environments, specially trained staff, and programs and activities for people living with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia. This specialized setting can offer more personalized care, helping residents maintain their abilities and engage with the world in meaningful ways. 

As you compare assisted living communities, take a moment to think about the other features that matter most to you and your loved one: 

• Dining options: If food plays an important role in your loved one’s life, look for an assisted living community with several dining options. Review the available dining services as part of your search. 

• Fitness: For some older adults, physical fitness is an important part of daily life. If you or your loved one doesn’t want to miss an exercise class, make reviewing each community’s classes, activities, and fitness programs part of your process. 

• Transportation services: For older adults who no longer drive, transportation can be essential. Many assisted living communities offer shuttle services to shopping centers and medical appointments, but it’s always worth confirming what transportation is available. 

• Pet policy: Do you or your loved one have a pet? If a four-legged companion will be moving too, finding a pet-friendly community may be a must-have rather than simply a preference. 

• Location: Identify any location deal-breakers before beginning the search. Does your loved one need to remain in the same city or town? Would they prefer to move closer to family or other members of their care circle? Do they want an urban or suburban setting? Answering these questions can help you focus your search. 

Step 2: Create your assisted living budget 

Planning for assisted living costs can feel daunting. It’s a significant financial decision, and the pricing may be more complicated than a monthly mortgage or rent payment. That’s why it’s important to understand what you or your loved one can afford before you begin comparing specific communities and locations.

Consulting a financial advisor or financial planner may be a helpful first step toward setting a realistic budget. They can help you understand the financial resources available to pay for assisted living, including home equity and potential benefits, such as pension or Veterans benefits. A financial professional can also help you create a longer-term strategy so you can consider how costs may be covered over time.

You may want to look for a financial advisor or planner who has experience working with older adults. A professional familiar with assisted living may better understand its costs and complexities than a general financial advisor. That background may help them account for the details involved in planning for this type of care. 

Online cost-of-care tools can also provide estimates for your area, sometimes broken down by care type and room type. When a tool bases its estimates on actual moves into senior living communities, the figures may reflect the costs residents are paying rather than only the advertised cost of the room. 

Step 3: Create your assisted living shortlist 

Once you understand what your loved one needs and what your budget allows, you can begin building a shortlist. This is where the search may start to feel more engaging. If you’ve browsed real estate listings on websites such as Zillow or Redfin, the process may feel familiar. Online senior living directories often include details about communities, from photos and pricing to reviews.

Pricing will likely be one of the biggest factors in your search. Look for available pricing estimates for independent living, memory care, and assisted living communities so you can compare realistic options. Location will probably matter too. A map view can help you see the assisted living communities within your preferred area and determine which ones may work best. 

Start by browsing communities in your desired location. If the search tool allows it, save promising options in one place so you can revisit them later. Don’t rely only on online information, though. You can also ask other people and trusted sources for feedback, including: 

• Senior living advisor: Working with a professional senior living advisor can be helpful. Advisors may know the senior living options in your area, conduct assessments, and recommend communities based on individual care needs, budget, and preferences. They can offer another perspective on quality of care and may be especially helpful when your timeline is tight. 

• Doctor’s office: Medical professionals may know senior living communities in the area and may be able to offer recommendations based on your loved one’s needs and preferences. Their experience with older adults in the community may provide useful context as you narrow your choices. 

• Friends: Friends who have already gone through the process of finding an assisted living community can share firsthand experiences and personal insights. Their feedback may help you identify questions to ask and narrow your list of options. 

• Faith or religious groups: Members of your faith or religious community may be able to offer guidance and suggestions based on their local connections and personal experiences with nearby assisted living communities. 

Step 4: Get ready to tour communities

Once you have a shortlist of three to five communities, it’s time to schedule tours. Touring assisted living communities is a little like shopping because the goal is to find the right match. For many families, that match involves both practical and emotional considerations. Sometimes, how you feel while visiting a community matters as much as its specific features. The right assisted living community is the one that feels suitable for you. While research and input are important, don’t ignore how you and your loved one feel in each community. Use every tour as an opportunity to learn more about what you both appreciate and what you don’t. A consistent approach can also make the communities easier to compare. Here’s how to prepare for and make the most of your visits: 

• Make a list of your must-haves: Based on your research and what you know about your loved one’s needs, list the most important criteria for each community. Think about what will matter in an assisted living home. Your list may include meal services, access to medical care, transportation, social events, room layouts, and more. Keeping these priorities in mind can help you narrow your options and make each tour more focused. 

• Schedule a visit: Once you have your shortlist, contact each assisted living community to schedule a tour. Visiting in person can give you a clearer sense of what daily life is like, how the community feels, and whether it may suit your loved one. 

• Ask plenty of questions: During your visit, ask plenty of questions about the services, care, costs, policies, and daily experience. Bring an assisted living tour checklist of questions to ask so you can cover the same important topics at every community you visit. 

• Take notes during your tour: Take detailed notes during each visit because it may be difficult to remember everything later. Your notes will help you compare different communities, especially after you’ve completed several tours and the details begin to blur together. Record your impressions while they’re still fresh. 

• Speak with residents and staff: During the tour, spend time with both current residents and staff members to get a sense of the overall atmosphere. Their interactions can tell you a great deal about the community. Residents’ perspectives may be especially helpful because they can speak directly about their daily experiences and what it’s like to live there. 

• Review pricing: A tour is a good time for prospective residents and their care circles to sit down with staff and review the community’s pricing model. Many assisted living communities provide different levels of health care to accommodate residents’ needs, but additional care may come at an extra cost. Before you leave, make sure you understand the levels of care, annual increases, and any other charges that may be added to the monthly rent. 

• Stay a while: One helpful approach is to sit in the lobby or a common area and observe for a while. Prospective residents may receive extra attention during a scheduled tour, but quietly observing can provide another view of the community. How do staff members relate to and speak with one another? What kinds of interactions do you notice between staff and residents? Taking a little extra time may help you understand the everyday atmosphere.  

Step 5: Make your decision

After touring the communities on your shortlist, it’s time to make a final decision. Consider both how each place felt and what you saw and experienced during the tour. Review the level of care, the community’s cleanliness, the friendliness and professionalism of staff, and feedback from current residents. Compare the available amenities, services, and activities with your must-have list. Because many assisted living communities offer different levels of health care, confirm that the available support meets your loved one’s specific needs. Ultimately, your decision should center on finding a compassionate, comfortable, and suitable home that respects their needs and preferences. Reviewing your notes and priorities can help you move forward with greater confidence.